He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
