You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
