Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
