Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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