Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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