Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
