those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies