Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.