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Who wears a wallet chain?!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
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