I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
