Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
