If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me đ
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
how do you say âi know we havenât hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other dayâ without coming on too strong
Randomize
