can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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