I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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