I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
