I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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