day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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