Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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