I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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