Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
