Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
