did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
