READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
