I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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