my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
