I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid