There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
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No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
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Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green