Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
