i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
