My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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