I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
