I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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