Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
