I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize