The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize