she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
