I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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