fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
