Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
