therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
