I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
