so explain again why im purple
no
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
