she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize