so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
