ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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