I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
