I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
