just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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