HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
