Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
