I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
