Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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