Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
