I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
