Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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