Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
