im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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