So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
