Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
